A Bowlful of Cherries

Celebrating Matty and Noah

No white meat here

The organic turkey is the new Prius. And since Donna wanted a traditional Thanksgiving meal with all the fixin’s, but a dead bird wasn’t an option, we decided to try the Tofurky. These are the latest wave of eco-chic. No matter what else you say about us, you can’t say that we’re not eco-chic.

Organic turkey sales at Whole Foods Market, the upscale natural-foods chain, have doubled this year. That’s building on gains from last year: sales for organic poultry, which includes turkey, grew 112 percent in 2003. For those, like us, who prefer to eat lower on the food chain, there’s always Tofurky. Manufacturer Turtle Island Foods this year expects to sell 160,000 Tofurky Feasts, which include a meatless “roast,” gravy with tofu “giblets,” and other trimmings. So bon appetit right?

Donna and I went to Whole Foods yesterday morning to pick up our Tofurky. We figured that they weren’t meat, so the defrosting stage shouldn’t take that long. But the Tofurkies were blocks of ice, requiring a full day of defrosting. After rejecting the idea of eating the Thanksgiving meal on Friday, we rummaged through the “unmeat” section and unearthed the Unturkey. The Unturkey only required 3-4 hours for defrosting and had a short cooking time (10-12 minutes!), as long as we sliced the partially thawed unturkey before cooking. So we got it. At nearly $6/pound, it better be worth it.

Here’s Matty investigating the contents of the box.

matty inspects the unturkey

The Unturkey is made of wheat gluten with a “skin” of tofu. Note the “crispy” skin.

upclose to the turkey

Matty looks skeptical. Why can’t people just stick to oatmeal? It’s good stuff.

matty enjoying his own meal

It really didn’t slice very well, even being partially frozen. The stuffing got knocked out. Note the lack of white meat.

sliced unturkeymore slices

We cooked it for 12 minutes, and, since we hadn’t finished cooking the rest of our meal (mashed potatoes, asparagus with lemon, carrots, corn, and rolls), we covered the slices with foil to keep warm. After grace, the ceremonial first bite:

first bite

Five minutes later, still chewing.


We may have overcooked it (or maybe it’s just nasty). It wasn’t good at all: rubbery and chewy. To me, it tasted like stuffing, which I hate. Donna likes stuffing, but she cannot eat anything chewy — you don’t swallow gum, right? I had a slice, Donna couldn’t finish it, and the Unturkey was a turkey.

down the chute

In other news, the lemon cheesecake was brilliant. And Matty had a good day.

matty enjoying his own day


Written by Michael

26 Nov 2004 at 804am

Posted in Misc.

3 Responses

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  1. you guys have a happy anniversary. 🙂


    26 Nov 2004 at 824pm

  2. that unturkey looks nasty, but anyway i hope that you all a a very happy thankgiving and a happy anniversary


    29 Nov 2004 at 1216pm

  3. Oh sure the turkey was nasty, but it was definitely funny! Thank you guys! We’re having a great day!


    29 Nov 2004 at 238pm

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